People,
My name is Joe Welsh and I want you to get excited about my beard. Here’s why…
A
few months ago my wife Sarah and I found out that we are having a baby. We were
thrilled, but after some scary test results, it looked like something might be
wrong. Fortunately for us, these results were false positives and in four
months we expect a healthy and devastatingly handsome little boy (NOTE: Not the
devastatingly cute little girl pictured at right, who belongs to the slightly
less devastatingly cute Keith Schoonover).
As lucky as I feel, this scare got me thinking about all the babies and families who are not so fortunate – those whose lives are shattered by childhood illnesses and diseases.
So I decided to do something about it. I chose two children’s organizations that I think are important and I will be raising money for both.
The first organization is the Hospital for Sick Children
(SickKids) in
The second organization is the Ronald McDonald House of Rochester. This is a fantastic charity which gives very ill children and their parents a cost-free and comfortable place to stay while the children receive treatment at Strong’s Golisano Children’s Hospital
However, as good as my intentions may be, I quickly realized that I lack the good looks, talent and salesmanship necessary to raise any significant amount of money by conventional methods. And so I had to think long and hard to figure out what it is I actually do have at my disposal. And folks, what I do have is a beard. Not just any beard, mind you, but a beard that I am willing to grow for the next four months (or until my baby is born) all in the name of charity.
So it is with pride, and more than a little apprehension, that I introduce Beards for Babies. Here’s how it works.
Much
like people who get sponsored to run marathons or to walk exorbitant distances
(but completely unlike them in terms of my physical fitness), I am going to
raise money for charity by continuing to grow my already slightly unmanageable
beard (pictured at right, grossing out another of the Schoonover clan). You can
donate to this effort in four ways.
- Sponsor
the Beard by Length of Time – Give a certain amount for each week that
I end up having the beard (which will depend on when our baby is born).
According to our
-Sponsoring the beard by the week is a good way to
give because it will force me to keep the beard for the duration, even when it
is huge, smelly and gross.
- Sponsor the Beard by Length of Beard – Give a certain amount based on how much the beard grows before the baby is born. You can sponsor in 1/16, 1/8, 1/4 and 1/2 inch increments.
-Sponsoring
the beard by length is a good way to give because it is really weird. Plus, you
and your friends can make bets about how long the beard will actually get.
- Celebrate Beard Week – December 10th through 14th is going to be Beards for Babies week at Harris Interactive. Your donation of $10 gets you a “BeardPass”, allowing you to grow your own beard for a week, completely and utterly unimpeded by The Man. Add $5 and you get the “Deluxe BeardPass”, allowing you to keep that bad boy all the way through Christmas.
-Don’t
worry ladies, I haven’t forgotten about you. Wearable false beards will be
available for all women who wish to purchase a BeardPass.
- Grow Your Own Beard – I have sponsorship forms so that you can raise money by growing your own beard with your own set of donors.
-As
an added bonus, at the end of the four months we will have a Beard-Off, with
the top grower and top money raiser getting sweet prizes.
What You Get as a Beards for Babies Supporter
- Most importantly, your money is going to help sick children and their families, both through the research done at SickKids and through the support provided by the Ronald McDonald House.
- You’ll get a weekly Beardletter, complete with pictures, updating you on the progress of the beard and the fundraising effort.
- Your money will be used locally, but it will work globally, helping to eradicate childhood disease worldwide.
- If you hate me, this is absolutely the charity for you. Considering how uncomfortable the beard already is, this could be a tough four months for me.
All kidding aside, I really do hope you will consider giving in whatever capacity you can. I promise that you will be entertained by the Beardletter and that your money really will be helping to make the lives of children better.
Please download the official Beards for Babies Donation Form as well as the BeardPass Registration Form. For those at Corporate Woods, you can drop off your completed forms at my cube on the 1st floor of building 60 or send them through interoffice mail. For those who are offsite, you can email me the form at jwelsh@harrisinteractive.com. If you have any questions, please don’t hesitate to shoot me an email or call 585.214.7411.
Thank You,
Joe
